Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month: A Gentle Guide

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month is observed every October, a month set aside to recognise babies lost through miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death and infant loss, and to support the families who carry them. It's marked by the Wave of Light on 15 October, when people light a candle at 7pm and let it burn for an hour in memory of a baby who died too soon. At Today, Tomorrow & Always, we spend all year holding space. 

What is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month?

It's an international month, recognised across Australia by organisations like Red Nose, Sands and others, that gives families, friends, workplaces and health professionals a shared opportunity to speak openly and compassionately about pregnancy loss and infant death.
It covers every kind of loss: early miscarriage, later miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, and infant loss in the months after birth. None of these is weighed against the others here. Grief doesn't come with a threshold.

You are not alone

If you've lost a baby, one of the hardest parts can be the quiet around it, the sense that this doesn't happen to many people, or that you're the only one who knows anyone who's been through it. The numbers tell a different story.

In Australia, among women who gave birth in 2022, roughly 3 in 10 had previously had at least one miscarriage, and about 1 in 10 had had two or more. Over a lifetime, somewhere between 30 and 37% of women who have ever been pregnant will experience a pregnancy loss before 20 weeks (AIHW). Stillbirth and newborn death are rarer, though still far from uncommon: on an average day in Australia, 6 babies are stillborn and 2 die within their first 28 days (AIHW, 2021).

None of this makes your loss hurt less, and it was never anything you did. But if you've felt isolated by it, these numbers are part of the answer: pregnancy and infant loss touches an enormous number of families. The silence around it says nothing about how much it matters, only that it's still hard for people to find the words.

What is the Wave of Light, and how do I take part?

The Wave of Light happens every year on 15 October. At 7pm local time, people light a candle and let it burn for at least an hour, creating a continuous wave of light around the world in memory of babies who died too soon. Some people share a photo when they do it. Most don't, and that's just as meaningful. There's no right way to take part, and no obligation to make it visible to anyone at all.

We will be honouring little ones over on our Facebook Page if you'd like to join us. 

There is no right way to grieve a pregnancy or infant loss

Here, there is no timeline and no right way to remember. Some people want to talk about their baby by name, often and openly. Others hold it privately, for years, maybe always. Both are normal. A loss at six weeks and a loss at thirty-six weeks are not measured against each other, and neither is a loss that happened five weeks ago against one from fifteen years ago. Every name, every date, every quiet moment matters, on whatever timeline it comes.

Where to find support this month, and any month

If you'd like support beyond what we can offer, these organisations specialise in exactly this:

• Sands Australia: support for miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death, including a 24/7 support line and peer support groups across Australia.
• Red Nose / Red Nose Grief and Loss: bereavement support, counselling and the national home of the Wave of Light in Australia.
• Bears of Hope: pregnancy and infant loss support, including peer support and memory-making resources for bereaved families.

You don't need to have bought anything from us, or ever intend to, to reach out to any of these.

If you're looking for a way to mark your baby's memory

Some families choose a tangible keepsake as one way of marking their baby's memory. Plenty of others never want one, and that's just as valid. A keepsake isn't a requirement for grief to be real, and it isn't a replacement for support when you need it, it's simply one option among many, alongside things like lighting a candle each year, planting something, or writing to your baby.

If a memorial keepsake is something you've thought about, our pregnancy and infant loss collection is there when you're ready, with no timeline attached to that either.